It seems that the urge to knit has been temporarily been replaced by the urge to read. And read I have. After finishing “I am Madame X” yesterday afternoon, I took “Beethoven’s Hair” off the shelf, and it is, so far, holding my interest. I feel like I’m back in college and on spring break—-I would read anything I could get me hands on that wasn’t a text book. I could read 10 books over a break, completely satiating myself with fiction so that I didn’t feel quite so cheated when class began again. I have read 4 or 5 books in the last week or so, 2 in the last 3 days. The red cardi has been calling to me from my knitting basket, my Netflix offerings glaring at me from the counter, and my best buddy, TiVo, is getting full again. Soon I will run out of compelling books and will return to life as it has become.
For quite a while I’ve been playing around with ideas for a novel of my own, actually starting 2, which I’m afraid died with my last laptop. I have a lot of storylines in my head, but like so many things, I don’t know how to start, and those that I actually started got bogged down and lost momentum. Like many avid readers, I know what makes for a good story, can spot a bad one pretty quickly, and think I could do better. People I know have become successful authors. But along with other ambitions, it is only that; an ambition. I think it goes along with the question from last week….”if I knew I could not fail.”
There are so many things I want to do, but fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of disappointment keeps me from trying. That, and getting bogged down in the details, not knowing where to start. On my list of things to do this year (the one that I wrote in January) is a Fair Isle sweater, not a difficult one with 15 colors, but a simple, drop sleeve EZ sweater with 2 main colors and a third around the armhole steeks. One of the expert knitters I talked to at camp in March encouraged me by saying “you have all the skills you need, just do it…..get out the graph paper and figure it up.” I’m just not sure I’m ready to launch into another epic project just yet. I think the cardi needs to be finished first (for sure) and then I can think about it. I’m not good at having lots of ‘big’ things on the needles at the same time.
Okay, enough of that….this is beginning to sound like a stitch and bitch—without the stitching.
In the meantime, have you read anything good lately???